Happy Birthday Thani

Life is a jigsaw puzzle, most of the times we are clueless towards what we are going to discover, what will we infer from it & above all will we truly make it large.A popular brand says "Its your life, make it large", the funny part is almost none of us have comprehended the meaning of "large" used here.

Most of us today are running. Not exactly a marathon, but a race, a race against time, a race against one's own self. Making a phone call is tiring, visiting people is tiring, stopping by to greet someone is tiring, weekends are tiring, keeping in touch with old friends is tiring, all this because we are continuously running.

Yet strangely in these changed times when I too keep running, a moment of beauty enraptures me, I hear a familiar voice sweetly whispering to me to look around & seize the moment.It is the voice of my grandmother, my Thani.

For a person who spent her entire lifetime extending her unconditional affection to everyone she came across, I know Thani has indeed made her life large.Right from being at someone's beside in hospital to cooking delicacies for guests who came 365 days, Thani has had an extraordinary life. 

An elderly lady recently told me, "The best way to keep yourself happy was to keep in touch with the people you love or those who love you back".Thani has been my inspiration in this. Irrespective of the fact whether people called or visited her, she made a point to stay in touch. Her phone diary with contacts written in her beautiful handwriting is one of my priced possesssion.

Her beauty was her unconditional love, her beautiful face with the most endearing smile, her honey like voice, her tender hug & above all her pristine soul. 

Once in life, god came to me, loved me, nurtured me, became my bestest friend as my Thani. My twin soul, the love of my life, the person whom I shall love eternally always for loving me the way no one else can.

Wishing you a very Happy Birthday Thani!! I am sure we will reunite someday to celebrate it together again :) I love you with my whole heart !

Pehchan Kaun..Odia ya Bong??

The name is Roy..Sarba Roy. Well that was a bit filmy way to start.

I am a Bong(colloquial term for any Bengali girl/boy) from Odisha, speaking a Bengali that is often said to have an Odia influence, celebrating Odia festivals, cooking & eating a convergence of Odia & Bengali cuisines, loving Bengali Literature & Rabindra Sangeet & above all a true Cuttacki at heart.

 The flamboyant Roy joined our family name when in a comedy of errors we got it from the British.But the funny thing is that  in my childhood I used to have this vague notion that our family was related to "Raja Ram Mohan Roy", an essential figure appearing in std 6-7 history books everywhere in India, until I was corrected by my grandmom in my late teens.

Why I said a little something about my name was because no matter where I have been, the next question to me after the usual "What is your name ?" is "Ohh Are you a Bengali?" or "Ohh You're Bong Right?" or "Roy..Ummm Bengali Right?" and sometimes "Bengali..ummm u look like a malayali though". 

Then comes the analogy "Ohh Bengali meaning you love fish naa", "You must be having sweets & misti doi with breakfast also naa", "Have u read Gitanjali?","Your face resembles Goddess Durga" &  the stereotypical jokes which are sometimes not at all funny.

After the next question, all hell breaks  loose. "So where are you from?". I utter "My native place is in Khurda but I stay with my parents in Cuttack, both are places in Odisha". 

Then comes "Ohh Odisha, but u said you were Bengali Right?","So you speak Bengali or Odia at home?","Ohh so you dont have any relatives in West Bengal?", after a "No" as the answer I get a puzzled look & sometimes puckered eyebrows.

 

After a brief explanation that my family has been staying in Odisha for 4-5 generations, I summarize by  saying that "While Bengali is my Matru bhasa(mother tongue), Odisha is my Janmabhoomi (mother land)".
Its as is I have two mothers.One has taught me the beauty of Literature, Art & Music while the other has enriched me with rich heritage & culture.

Both the cultures have made me who I am.They have made me crave for Dahibara Aludum & Mangshor Jhol,enchanted me with Rabindra Sangeet & Akshay Mohanty's music, enthralled me with Durga Puja & Kumar Purnima, blessed me as Maa Durga & Prabhu Jagannath.

A Bong from Odisha can be an interesting combination, just like Poda Pitha & Misti Doi. What you get depends a lot on what you ask for.

December Love

There is an element of romance dipped in December.The cold climate,foggy mornings,warm blankets & of course the sense of comfort in one's beloved.It is also a month of breaking away.Breaking away from mundane activities,irritability,discomfort & delusions.

It is the month for the celebration of love,to find the invincible flame of love burning within us.To know that no matter what,this love shall save us from every frost bite.

During my returning from office in the evenings, I see many young lovers holding hands while moving on the road.I smile as I feel that December is a month of indulgence, it gives one a reason to hold hands.

No matter how many designer jackets, cardigans or pull overs we have, all of know deep within, that it is our sense of being loved that keeps us the most warm.

The amber street light, cold evenings, steaming momos with spicy chutneys, happy giggles, sweet nothings in each other's ears & a silent promise of being there for each other,all of this are a part of December love.

In the cold nights & streets amber,

as we hold hands & roam in the evenings of december,

I want you to remember,

that my love for you shall glow like amber forever

Coz I know that I will cease

to exist without you

as you look at me & playfully tease

I know you are me & I am you

You are the one

who chose to be mine

let the battles be lost or won

I know you are meant to be mine

In a small tear of joy

I hold all my love for you

Holding a promise that

Our love in december shall bloom in all hues.

My dear readers, hope all of you are drenched in these sudden drizzles of love in December.May it engulf all of you with the sweet times you spend with your beloved.

Small is Beautiful

This is something I wanted to write since quite sometime.A few months ago, my friend & I had participated in an extempore competition by the ToastMaster's club in our office.While I cannot recall what my topic was,my friend had given a very beautiful perspective on her topic "Small is Beautiful".

"Small" since then has pushed me to my reflective mode. While dropping me to the bus stand for office, my father while looking at little girls riding their bicycles to school, told me "U know I sometimes look at them thinking that I might spot you among them". I was touched by his remark, indeed time had passed so swiftly. I remember the first time I had gone to school on bicycle, while returning I saw a tall person standing at a distance from the school gate, moving closer I saw it was my father waiting with a smile.

Drenched in nostalgia, I realized that indeed the "small" moment had brought with itself so much unconditional love & joy.

Another "small" moment was when I was probably in Std 6. My mom had promised to prepare dosa for me when I would return from school but due to some urgent work, she did not. I was not that kid who would nag for anything but if I decided to do or eat something, I had to the same day. So there was this ruckus in the house.

It feels too embarrassing to admit but I did cry for dosa in my childhood. My father had returned from office & just asked me to come with him. With swollen eyes, I sat behind his bike & we rode to the yummiest dosa joint of the locality.The experience had  given me an insight on parents & their unconditional love for their children.

Now many years later, I just realized that in the midst of my dreams, my day job( a job that pays one's bills),my friends, my books & my tensions I had forgotten to acknowledge these small moments that had made my childhood so beautiful & special.

This goes to all my dear readers, no matter where you are, no matter how tensed or troubled you are, please try to create & treasure these "small" moments that you get with your loved ones.

The projects will come & go, the office politics will happen, the money which is less now will increase later, but these moments that you spend with loved ones will become your priceless treasure in times to come.

After all "Small is Beautiful" is not just applicable to a sleek smartphone or lap top always.

Hide & Seek Part 1

This time, holidays are going to be different , Sudipto pondered.The  sultry wind & dusty roads to Rajgangapur,his ancestral village were indicating the same.He was accompanying his mom to the place which she had last visited as a newly wed along with his father.

 His ancestors were zamindars of that place, his mother had told him."Zamindar", the term created an image of a king like man in Sudipto's mind.,who was laden with jewellery & fine clothes,smoking hookah & drinking wine while owning loads of money for which he tortured poor farmers.

Despite the feeling of guilt engulfing his mind for being the descendant of a zamindar, he was more or less very curious to explore the place he had never been to, Rajgangapur.The place where his family owned a huge haveli,a temple,a pond filled with fishes,a mango orchard,a huge garden where farmers grew vegetables & flowers & endless fields of paddy as described by his mother who would repeat this to Sudipto while shifting his attention, to make sure he finished his meals as a toddler.

Sudipto smiled as he remembered his rapt attention to the stories of Rajgangapur.He was eighteen now, all set to join Delhi University for his Bachelor's degree in English.Three months from now,Life's gonna change! he thought to himself.

Ahh the smell of Rajgangapur! his father's exclaimation during dinners.Sudipto wondered what it meant.His father, had recently shifted his base to Oman & his mother was going to join him after Sudipto joined DU.His mother, very religious at heart had decided to offer prayers at their ancestral deity's temple at Rajganagapur.Hence the visit.

Rajgangapur was truly beautiful.It was everything Sudipto had imagined.The pond, the temple, the paddy fields were no longer his imagination. The Ambassador car halted before what appeared to be an ancient palace,ruined to a large extent yet exuding magnificence.Get down Sudipto,we have reached,his mother said as she put the pallu of her saree over her head, the custom she had followed as a newly wed years back.

Arre arre ke acho,shigiri eshho,ke eseche dekho!(Come soon!Look who's here) exclaimed a middle aged man who welcomed them with a warm smile.BouMoni,its so good to see you after so many years , the man said & to double our happiness we have Sudipto babu also.The man must be Narayan Kaku,Sudipto wondered.

Narayan was Sudipto's father's distant cousin & the care taker of their property & haveli at Rajgangapur.He  lived with his family of 10.He was just as his mother had described, cheerful & extrovert.I am happy to meet you too Kaku,Sudipto said.

After a simple homecoming tilak by Narayan's wife Malati & his children, Sudipto & his mother entered the haveli.Victorian architecture with huge pillars, wooden see through windows,huge courtyard,moss  covered walls,wooden ceilings, Sudipto was observing each & every aspect of the haveli.

Malati had prepared a special meal for them.Piping hot rohu fish curry,rice,fish mustard curry,saag,5 varieties of bhaja(fries),tomato chatni,cabbage curry & dal.Sudipto was given the fish head as he was the special guest.He ate till his heart's content.

After the sumptuous meal & afternoon siesta, he decided to walk around & explore.The mango orchard was nearby,his mother  had told him.The youngest son of Narayan,Chotan happily volunteered to take him there.

As he reached the Orchard,listening to the happy chatter of Chotan,Sudipto asked if he could teach him how to climb trees. Chotan with a lot of pride & happiness agreed & showed him a demo. 

While articulately trying to follow Chotan, Sudipto lost his balance & fell.But more than his fall what startled him was the sweet laughter that followed.

Looking around he saw on a tree, a girl seated. Draped in a saree,the girl was laughing continuously,her long curly hair moving in tow.Her face was beautiful with a hint of mischief.

Hey Koutuki ! Stop laughing! shouted Chotan. I wont! she retorted back. Next time lift him with you to the tree! She giggled as she got down & ran away.

That night, there was a power outage & Sudipto decided to sleep on the terrace with Narayan's children.

After initial attempts he realised that he was unable to sleep, not because of the powercut, nor because of his pain, it was the giggles of a beautiful & mysterious girl Koutuki.

He had to meet her again.

Happy Anniversary

Yesterday on my way to office in the morning, my friend Soumya called. Barely able to hear her voice amidst the traffic, I could figure out the words "Happy Anniversary" from her. Suddenly I was drenched in drops of nostalgia & happiness, one year had passed.So many memories,so many joys amidst challenges,tears & learning. With a smile I said "Same to you".

Well let me get it  straight, Me & Soumya are not married , neither to each other (Impossible :P :P ) nor to any extremely lucky man respectively :P ( The "extremely lucky" added to show the good fortune of the guys who would marry the beauties with brains like  us :D :D ) Well jokes apart, the "Happy Anniversary" was on behalf of our successful completion of 1 year at Tata Consultancy  Services Limited (TCS).

Exactly an year back, I had started my journey at TCS , Trivandrum with my Initial Learning Program (ILP). Clouded with hopes & apprehensions,I searched the internet for  all the blogs & experiences related to TCS Trivandrum,completed the lengthy legal procedure,packed my bags, booked my ticket,got pampered with gifts & blessings by family & friends, bid farewell to my tearful parents &  left for Trivandrum listening to "Tanha Dil Tanha Safar" on my I Pod. :P (Yeh shayad kuch zyada hi filmy ho gaya :P ).

ILP @ TCS Trivandrum was sheer magic. The intoxicating beauty of Kerala enraptured me to the core as I thoroughly enjoyed the trips to Ponmudi, Poovar,Allepey, Varkala,Kovallam & Shangumukam beach in Trivandrum with some awesome people who became dear friends.

The training in terms of Technical Skills & Business skills were also highly enriching.The faculty were an epitome of what they taught. Amidst endless power point presentations under strict scrutiny we all learned the silent lessons of excellence & enjoyment in the tasks we did.

There were many firsts in my journey in TCS. Some highlights :-

• Mountain hiking with ladies slippers- The all girls trip to Ponmudi included climbing the top of a mountain, supporting each other through slippery rocks  to reach a waterfall, eating hot biriyani & finally relaxing at a beach. PS : I was the only girl wearing ladies slippers who went hiking that included leech attacks :P

•  Art Attack - During ILP we made a chandelier made of plastic bottles & I tried glass painting on an empty glass bottle as a part of Recycle, Reuse & Reduce campaign in which these items would be auctioned for charity.We created posters on Industrial Service Units in TCS & also a Rangoli which won the Second prize  during the Diwali Bash.

Chandelier made of plastic bottles

Glass painting by meeeeeeeeeee :D

poster

Our Award winning Rangoli :P on Global Warming

• Outbound Learning Program with Mitsubishi trainees-10 trainees including me were very lucky to undergo the unique learning program filled with adventure sports & inherent management lessons at the "National Adventure Foundation" with the Mitsubishi trainees from Japan who were so cordial. There was a lot of cultural exchange that happened happily from both sides.

• My First Marathon - After a lot of thought, I decided to run the 5k marathon at TCS Bangalore.As mentioned in my earlier  post it was an experience of  a lifetime including a brief meeting with the CEO himself who inspired me to keep running. The marathon inspired me to push myself beyond my comfort zone & to run & reach my goals.

 

• Life Transforming Books - The Information Resource Center (IRC) at TCS has offered me many books that have transformed my life in innumerable ways.The Secret, The Happiness  Project, The Alchemist,The Monk who sold his Ferrari, Unposted Letters, Go Kiss The World, The Professional,Same Soul Many Bodies, The Case of the Bonsai Manager, Snapshots from Hell and few more books have had a tremendous impact on my way of life & thought process. 

So along with  the above , the source of enrichment for me has been the company of people at TCS whether it be peers or seniors who have made my journey even more special. Right from the Meet the Mentors sessions to the PEEP sessions to the interactions with the seniors who have spent almost a decade here, I have not only learnt the importance of being a Professional but also to be a better human being. Heartfelt gratitude to each one of them.

I have seen puckered eyebrows when they enquire me about my salary, to the fact that I am along the 2.5 lakhs associates who work here, but at the end of 1 year I have realized that enrichment in work life has very little connection to one's pay slip & being a part of a beautiful sea doesnt deter the fact that you are a unique drop who makes the sea beautiful.

In short I have realized that sometimes being happily married isnt always a prerequisite for having a "Happy Anniversary" :P Cheers to life !

In Life & Afterlife

For the past few days my world is revolving around the profound concept of Reincarnation. Thanks to the amazing books by Dr Brain Weiss, it has opened a whole new spiritual realm before me, of which I was completely unaware of. Our souls are immortal, it is we humans who take the concept of life & death too seriously & believe that death is the end. 

Many near death experiences state that upon our death, our soul calmly floats over our body to do a life review. It contemplates about the lessons it has learnt during the lifetime & ascends higher towards a beautiful beam of light or the "ONE" which we name as "GOD".

The people you truly love, your soul mate , the person whose presence bathes you in bliss will never be separated from you. Your togetherness shall span over the many births you take, it is simply because you were destined to be together. Physical separation by death is transitory, your bonding is eternal.Do not grieve & curse the separation, your togetherness is planned by higher forces. Let it unwind, till then enjoy your journey.

I have found this beautiful excerpt from a book, " Listen to yourself, Follow your feelings, your heart & your mind. Forget about appearances or what others think of you as no one knows the secret of your soul nor the promise you came here to fulfill". What a profound thought ! 

I have composed few lines on soulmates.

As I pass through the woods & meadows,

casting some dwindling shadows,

I share happiness , borrow some sorrow,

in my journey between yesterday, today & tomorrow.

For I know, wherever I go,

You shall find me in my afterglow,

Dont cry, dont touch , dont follow,

My dwindling shadows in my afterglow

Do not mourn or grieve, if ever I shall leave,

our physical separation is transitory, very brief,

our love has the power beyond the earthly realm,

In our journey towards the eternal  beam

We shall reunite, we shall become one,

doesnt matter if the worldly battles are lost or won,

Our souls are eternal, free from shackles,

life & death are mere transitions in our travels

In the tryst of times,

When you cease to be you & I cease to be me,

Just look behind, in your journey of births & miles,

coz you will find me , looking at you , waiting for your smile.

Souls never die or perish, soulmates never separate.