Small is Beautiful

This is something I wanted to write since quite sometime.A few months ago, my friend & I had participated in an extempore competition by the ToastMaster's club in our office.While I cannot recall what my topic was,my friend had given a very beautiful perspective on her topic "Small is Beautiful".

"Small" since then has pushed me to my reflective mode. While dropping me to the bus stand for office, my father while looking at little girls riding their bicycles to school, told me "U know I sometimes look at them thinking that I might spot you among them". I was touched by his remark, indeed time had passed so swiftly. I remember the first time I had gone to school on bicycle, while returning I saw a tall person standing at a distance from the school gate, moving closer I saw it was my father waiting with a smile.

Drenched in nostalgia, I realized that indeed the "small" moment had brought with itself so much unconditional love & joy.

Another "small" moment was when I was probably in Std 6. My mom had promised to prepare dosa for me when I would return from school but due to some urgent work, she did not. I was not that kid who would nag for anything but if I decided to do or eat something, I had to the same day. So there was this ruckus in the house.

It feels too embarrassing to admit but I did cry for dosa in my childhood. My father had returned from office & just asked me to come with him. With swollen eyes, I sat behind his bike & we rode to the yummiest dosa joint of the locality.The experience had  given me an insight on parents & their unconditional love for their children.

Now many years later, I just realized that in the midst of my dreams, my day job( a job that pays one's bills),my friends, my books & my tensions I had forgotten to acknowledge these small moments that had made my childhood so beautiful & special.

This goes to all my dear readers, no matter where you are, no matter how tensed or troubled you are, please try to create & treasure these "small" moments that you get with your loved ones.

The projects will come & go, the office politics will happen, the money which is less now will increase later, but these moments that you spend with loved ones will become your priceless treasure in times to come.

After all "Small is Beautiful" is not just applicable to a sleek smartphone or lap top always.

Hide & Seek Part 1

This time, holidays are going to be different , Sudipto pondered.The  sultry wind & dusty roads to Rajgangapur,his ancestral village were indicating the same.He was accompanying his mom to the place which she had last visited as a newly wed along with his father.

 His ancestors were zamindars of that place, his mother had told him."Zamindar", the term created an image of a king like man in Sudipto's mind.,who was laden with jewellery & fine clothes,smoking hookah & drinking wine while owning loads of money for which he tortured poor farmers.

Despite the feeling of guilt engulfing his mind for being the descendant of a zamindar, he was more or less very curious to explore the place he had never been to, Rajgangapur.The place where his family owned a huge haveli,a temple,a pond filled with fishes,a mango orchard,a huge garden where farmers grew vegetables & flowers & endless fields of paddy as described by his mother who would repeat this to Sudipto while shifting his attention, to make sure he finished his meals as a toddler.

Sudipto smiled as he remembered his rapt attention to the stories of Rajgangapur.He was eighteen now, all set to join Delhi University for his Bachelor's degree in English.Three months from now,Life's gonna change! he thought to himself.

Ahh the smell of Rajgangapur! his father's exclaimation during dinners.Sudipto wondered what it meant.His father, had recently shifted his base to Oman & his mother was going to join him after Sudipto joined DU.His mother, very religious at heart had decided to offer prayers at their ancestral deity's temple at Rajganagapur.Hence the visit.

Rajgangapur was truly beautiful.It was everything Sudipto had imagined.The pond, the temple, the paddy fields were no longer his imagination. The Ambassador car halted before what appeared to be an ancient palace,ruined to a large extent yet exuding magnificence.Get down Sudipto,we have reached,his mother said as she put the pallu of her saree over her head, the custom she had followed as a newly wed years back.

Arre arre ke acho,shigiri eshho,ke eseche dekho!(Come soon!Look who's here) exclaimed a middle aged man who welcomed them with a warm smile.BouMoni,its so good to see you after so many years , the man said & to double our happiness we have Sudipto babu also.The man must be Narayan Kaku,Sudipto wondered.

Narayan was Sudipto's father's distant cousin & the care taker of their property & haveli at Rajgangapur.He  lived with his family of 10.He was just as his mother had described, cheerful & extrovert.I am happy to meet you too Kaku,Sudipto said.

After a simple homecoming tilak by Narayan's wife Malati & his children, Sudipto & his mother entered the haveli.Victorian architecture with huge pillars, wooden see through windows,huge courtyard,moss  covered walls,wooden ceilings, Sudipto was observing each & every aspect of the haveli.

Malati had prepared a special meal for them.Piping hot rohu fish curry,rice,fish mustard curry,saag,5 varieties of bhaja(fries),tomato chatni,cabbage curry & dal.Sudipto was given the fish head as he was the special guest.He ate till his heart's content.

After the sumptuous meal & afternoon siesta, he decided to walk around & explore.The mango orchard was nearby,his mother  had told him.The youngest son of Narayan,Chotan happily volunteered to take him there.

As he reached the Orchard,listening to the happy chatter of Chotan,Sudipto asked if he could teach him how to climb trees. Chotan with a lot of pride & happiness agreed & showed him a demo. 

While articulately trying to follow Chotan, Sudipto lost his balance & fell.But more than his fall what startled him was the sweet laughter that followed.

Looking around he saw on a tree, a girl seated. Draped in a saree,the girl was laughing continuously,her long curly hair moving in tow.Her face was beautiful with a hint of mischief.

Hey Koutuki ! Stop laughing! shouted Chotan. I wont! she retorted back. Next time lift him with you to the tree! She giggled as she got down & ran away.

That night, there was a power outage & Sudipto decided to sleep on the terrace with Narayan's children.

After initial attempts he realised that he was unable to sleep, not because of the powercut, nor because of his pain, it was the giggles of a beautiful & mysterious girl Koutuki.

He had to meet her again.

Happy Anniversary

Yesterday on my way to office in the morning, my friend Soumya called. Barely able to hear her voice amidst the traffic, I could figure out the words "Happy Anniversary" from her. Suddenly I was drenched in drops of nostalgia & happiness, one year had passed.So many memories,so many joys amidst challenges,tears & learning. With a smile I said "Same to you".

Well let me get it  straight, Me & Soumya are not married , neither to each other (Impossible :P :P ) nor to any extremely lucky man respectively :P ( The "extremely lucky" added to show the good fortune of the guys who would marry the beauties with brains like  us :D :D ) Well jokes apart, the "Happy Anniversary" was on behalf of our successful completion of 1 year at Tata Consultancy  Services Limited (TCS).

Exactly an year back, I had started my journey at TCS , Trivandrum with my Initial Learning Program (ILP). Clouded with hopes & apprehensions,I searched the internet for  all the blogs & experiences related to TCS Trivandrum,completed the lengthy legal procedure,packed my bags, booked my ticket,got pampered with gifts & blessings by family & friends, bid farewell to my tearful parents &  left for Trivandrum listening to "Tanha Dil Tanha Safar" on my I Pod. :P (Yeh shayad kuch zyada hi filmy ho gaya :P ).

ILP @ TCS Trivandrum was sheer magic. The intoxicating beauty of Kerala enraptured me to the core as I thoroughly enjoyed the trips to Ponmudi, Poovar,Allepey, Varkala,Kovallam & Shangumukam beach in Trivandrum with some awesome people who became dear friends.

The training in terms of Technical Skills & Business skills were also highly enriching.The faculty were an epitome of what they taught. Amidst endless power point presentations under strict scrutiny we all learned the silent lessons of excellence & enjoyment in the tasks we did.

There were many firsts in my journey in TCS. Some highlights :-

• Mountain hiking with ladies slippers- The all girls trip to Ponmudi included climbing the top of a mountain, supporting each other through slippery rocks  to reach a waterfall, eating hot biriyani & finally relaxing at a beach. PS : I was the only girl wearing ladies slippers who went hiking that included leech attacks :P

•  Art Attack - During ILP we made a chandelier made of plastic bottles & I tried glass painting on an empty glass bottle as a part of Recycle, Reuse & Reduce campaign in which these items would be auctioned for charity.We created posters on Industrial Service Units in TCS & also a Rangoli which won the Second prize  during the Diwali Bash.

Chandelier made of plastic bottles

Glass painting by meeeeeeeeeee :D

poster

Our Award winning Rangoli :P on Global Warming

• Outbound Learning Program with Mitsubishi trainees-10 trainees including me were very lucky to undergo the unique learning program filled with adventure sports & inherent management lessons at the "National Adventure Foundation" with the Mitsubishi trainees from Japan who were so cordial. There was a lot of cultural exchange that happened happily from both sides.

• My First Marathon - After a lot of thought, I decided to run the 5k marathon at TCS Bangalore.As mentioned in my earlier  post it was an experience of  a lifetime including a brief meeting with the CEO himself who inspired me to keep running. The marathon inspired me to push myself beyond my comfort zone & to run & reach my goals.

 

• Life Transforming Books - The Information Resource Center (IRC) at TCS has offered me many books that have transformed my life in innumerable ways.The Secret, The Happiness  Project, The Alchemist,The Monk who sold his Ferrari, Unposted Letters, Go Kiss The World, The Professional,Same Soul Many Bodies, The Case of the Bonsai Manager, Snapshots from Hell and few more books have had a tremendous impact on my way of life & thought process. 

So along with  the above , the source of enrichment for me has been the company of people at TCS whether it be peers or seniors who have made my journey even more special. Right from the Meet the Mentors sessions to the PEEP sessions to the interactions with the seniors who have spent almost a decade here, I have not only learnt the importance of being a Professional but also to be a better human being. Heartfelt gratitude to each one of them.

I have seen puckered eyebrows when they enquire me about my salary, to the fact that I am along the 2.5 lakhs associates who work here, but at the end of 1 year I have realized that enrichment in work life has very little connection to one's pay slip & being a part of a beautiful sea doesnt deter the fact that you are a unique drop who makes the sea beautiful.

In short I have realized that sometimes being happily married isnt always a prerequisite for having a "Happy Anniversary" :P Cheers to life !

In Life & Afterlife

For the past few days my world is revolving around the profound concept of Reincarnation. Thanks to the amazing books by Dr Brain Weiss, it has opened a whole new spiritual realm before me, of which I was completely unaware of. Our souls are immortal, it is we humans who take the concept of life & death too seriously & believe that death is the end. 

Many near death experiences state that upon our death, our soul calmly floats over our body to do a life review. It contemplates about the lessons it has learnt during the lifetime & ascends higher towards a beautiful beam of light or the "ONE" which we name as "GOD".

The people you truly love, your soul mate , the person whose presence bathes you in bliss will never be separated from you. Your togetherness shall span over the many births you take, it is simply because you were destined to be together. Physical separation by death is transitory, your bonding is eternal.Do not grieve & curse the separation, your togetherness is planned by higher forces. Let it unwind, till then enjoy your journey.

I have found this beautiful excerpt from a book, " Listen to yourself, Follow your feelings, your heart & your mind. Forget about appearances or what others think of you as no one knows the secret of your soul nor the promise you came here to fulfill". What a profound thought ! 

I have composed few lines on soulmates.

As I pass through the woods & meadows,

casting some dwindling shadows,

I share happiness , borrow some sorrow,

in my journey between yesterday, today & tomorrow.

For I know, wherever I go,

You shall find me in my afterglow,

Dont cry, dont touch , dont follow,

My dwindling shadows in my afterglow

Do not mourn or grieve, if ever I shall leave,

our physical separation is transitory, very brief,

our love has the power beyond the earthly realm,

In our journey towards the eternal  beam

We shall reunite, we shall become one,

doesnt matter if the worldly battles are lost or won,

Our souls are eternal, free from shackles,

life & death are mere transitions in our travels

In the tryst of times,

When you cease to be you & I cease to be me,

Just look behind, in your journey of births & miles,

coz you will find me , looking at you , waiting for your smile.

Souls never die or perish, soulmates never separate.

Ladies Special

Years ago, I remember a show called "Ladies Special" that my mom used to watch. It was a story of a group of women,traveling in a  local train everyday to work, sharing their stories with each other right from maid's abseentism to life's strange dilemmas.

 Since then I wondered how it felt to travel in an all women's bus or train & what would the real  conversations be like. My tryst with frequent bus travels started during my undergraduate years when I used to travel home during weekends from my hostel. Just like the poster of movie Swades where ShahRukh is seen sitting in an overcrowded bus, my picture was similar.Luckily my travels back then used to happen during low rush hours & I used to settle for a seat that was occupied by me & my bag beside me.

Transfer to Odisha requires me to travel almost 70 km (back & forth) everyday. Yet for the wonderful feeling of being at home with parents, I chose to travel everyday. A recent family function had me explaining the location of my office, mode of my travel, arrival & departure timings to almost everyone who saw me & wondered what I was doing in Cuttack after getting a job in TCS :P  After the initial joy over my transfer , I got the warnings that "Aaj kal din kaal khoob kharap"(Now a days situations are very grim) & "shabdhane jeo" (Be careful while travel).

That brings me the thoughts of my travels.Every morning I travel by the "Ladies Special" bus run by Odisha government. A dream come true of some sort. As a ninja like creature after covering my head & face with scarf, I silently observe my fellow ladies who travel. The "special" in ladies special was justified by the winsome smile of a little girl who boarded the bus with her mother only to find that she could come in the bus because she was girl, she was special. Amidst the chitter chatter of ladies who travel for work to the young students who reserve seats beside them for their friends, morning travel is almost picnic.

I have seen various aspects in a woman's personality during my travels. One is of a fearless tigress who lambasts at hooligans who try to disrupt the bus journey through her fierce words & looks. The hooligans hide their tails between their legs like scared jackals & flee.She emerges during bus travels when some lecherous beast is trying to display his dirtiness with her, she shouts at the top of her voice,reprimanding the beast with her words & sometimes slaps, fearless to the core, reminding the people in the bus that she is the daughter of the land that worships Durga, the deity of supreme power & that she is totally intolerant to any activity that provokes her modesty.Kudos & salutes to the tigresses.

The other is of a shy & demure creature  who is fearful to even demand her ladies seat when it is occupied by a shameless male. She will choose to stand throughout her journey, getting pushed by others in a crowded bus, but she wont go & ask for seat from the male fearing the "SCENE" that could be created. Any girl demanding for her seat  invariably becomes the "Nari netri" ( female activist). The demure creature ranges from a management student to a working woman who is scared that the beast might attack her. She out of her own interest wants the beast to win by smiling & feeling proud by sitting in the ladies seat.By feeling superior, by feeling that he can get away with anything as his opponent is too demure & powerless.

A recent article I read stated that in India the chances of a girl getting molested in a bus are more than her getting a seat. I do not agree with this statement completely excluding the shameful incidents like Guwahati where many lecherous beasts gathered & performed a heinous act.In most cases of travel, I believe it is the choice of the woman that determines the outcome of any beast's evil intentions or actions.

She can either choose to be demure & silent, whether for a seat or any act of indecency,making the beast more powerful by making him feel that provoking the demure creature is his  damn right.Else she can  choose to be the daughter of Maa Durga , revolting valiantly to any act of indecency inflicted on her , teaching a lesson to the beast & his followers to never repeat the act again.

Dear Sisters , my appeal to you is to be absolutely intolerant to any act of indecency that you face anywhere as your silence then will become the source of your regret lasting a lifetime.Be Brave, Be Valiant, Be The Courage that destroys the beast in murderous rage !

Of love that lasted a lifetime

A few days back, my Dadu left us for his journey after life. My grandparents have had a lasting impression in my life, one of the reasons being my entire childhood spent in their loving hugs, stories, smiles & a belief that only good can exist in the world.They were both pristine people showering love right from their grandchildren to the maids working in their children's homes. 

A prose by Khuswant Singh in my std 11 English text book is still fresh in my mind. It describes a moment when he realizes that his grandmother has left for her heavenly abode.Losing someone you love dearly forever is one of the most strangest feeling anyone can ever experience. Reading the prose way back in std 11 had me in tears during the class, experiencing it in actual is a different story altogether.

 Thani-Dadu's love for each other is the kind of love we know through classic books or movies. It is unconditional,it never says till death do us apart coz even death cant be a hindrance to what they feel for each other.I have been a close witness to their eternal love, playful teasing, long letters, songs, stories of their romantic getaways, holding hands, silent smiles, sense of fulfillment to have each other around.Dadu in his own words had admitted to the fact that he was lucky to have married the most beautiful lady, my Thani.To my dear readers, let me assure you that this love exists in real life.

Thani's sudden demise & Dadu's parkinson's played a hide n seek in Dadu's mind.I will always be grateful to the almighty for erasing the fact of Thani's demise from Dadu's mind & heart. It would have been havoc otherwise. Yet I have also been tthe witness of Dadu's lonely longings for Thani during the painful moments of his illness. Thani had made all of us her world & Dadu had made Thani his world. Loving & losing is painful but the oblivion of the loss & the sheer hope of the return of one's beloved has been personified by Dadu.

I believe their love is the greatest, it is beyond life & death,beyond time, beyond the shackles of anything that has tried to keep them apart.They are together in life & death.

 That brings me to the concept of a twin soul, a soul at whom when you look at, you feel as if you have found yourself.Being with your twin soul can be the most blissful feeling one can ever get and with your twin soul you share nothing but most intimate & selfless love. In that way I am truly lucky, coz I dont have one but two twin souls, my dearest grandparents. I firmly believe that one day we will reunite, never to be separated again. This separation for now is transitory, the bigger truth is we are in love with each other for now & forever, together in life & death.

Yaariyaan

After shifting back to Odisha,last Saturday was my first official shopping date with my Mom :P Due to the incessant heavy downpour during our shopping, we went to have ice cream, hoping for the rain to subside in the meanwhile. As we were having the ice cream, I saw three teenage girls entering the parlour, giigling, chit chatting & poking each other about what to eat. Finally a few giggles later, they left drenching me in nostalgia.

As I came out & gaped at the continuous trickles of rain drops, my mind wandered in snapshots to my ILP, hostel,college & school. Each phase of my life has given me friends.Happy moments, crazy times, silent tears,sharing & caring & above all, timeless memories.

The school farewell is vividly in my mind.That was my first tryst with growing up I guess. All those people with whom I had spent so many years talking, giggling, sharing secrets,  competing from cycle races to ranks, nursing heart breaks,  slogging for exams,indulging in notoriety during classes, kneeling down during punishments, chit chatting for endless hours on phone, exchanging cassettes for favorite movie songs, roaming during lunch breaks, sharing notes, cracking jokes during morning assembly & finally being there for each other right from school functions to tuitions to punishments were all going one by one to deliver their farewell speeches & wishes. It was a strange feeling, I was wondering how would I ever do without them around.We promised that we would stay in touch, we are still in touch through FB & occasional calls.

Then college came & along with it came the wave of freedom & friendship. I must admit it that the best thing about my college CET was the amazing group of friends it gave me.People from various places,backgrounds uniting together to share a unique bond,sometimes facing the side effects of studying in a State govt owned college, sometimes attending birthday treats, sometimes studying together for internal exams, sometimes visiting the zoo & Dominoes after bunking classes,sometimes organizing a fresher's party in 2 days with budget constraints,looking back, those moments could be the best ever I could experience in my life.

Even the hostel life was truly amazing. The one bowl four spoons Maggi, late night chit chats,secret sharing, movies,outings, functions & pujas & above all a silent promise to be there for each other no matter what.The biggest thing I have learnt in hostel is the beauty of sharing, from a reserved person reluctant to share her bucket & clips to someone exchanging clothes to spoons while eating, one does come a long way.

The friends in got in my college have inspired me in their own ways.My school days were my during my fairytale childhood, when I was given the belief by my grandparents that only good & nice things existed in one's life & the world.My college days began with my grand mother's demise which was a period of huge void for me,where I faced a lot of issues personally & otherwise. Yet during those moments of darkness, it is my friends in CET who inspired me to be a better person, who taught me the valuable lesson to never give up on life & the fact that along with humility comes greatness.

I have met some amazing people during my internship in IIIT Bangalore. Crazy interns is the name we give our group, each one there is loaded with talent, be it coding or singing coupled with loads of humility, yet what makes me smile is the beautiful bond we share.I havent met them many times, nor do we speak on phone often, yet be it a crazy post in our group or chat, we start from where we left. They are special !

Then there was my ILP in TCS Trivandrum. A group of 30 people from different parts of the country coming together to design & execute a J2EE Project but ending up to be friends. The All girls trip to Ponmudi,the chandelier made of plastic bottles for an exhibition, the Rangoli during diwali,the slogging in  lab for final presentation & finally the painful good byes knowing that we might not get to see each other ever.This phase taught me that friendship doesnt limit itself to geographies or distances, its just the distance between heart to heart.

And finally Bangalore. There were two beautiful things I got in Bangalore. One was the reunion with my school friend who became my room mate.We have known each other for more than a decade, yet we had lost touch in  the past few years due to our circumstances.As we stayed together we relived all those moments  of  our growing up together, it felt as if we started all over again. The lesson I learnt here was that no matter what, true friendship never dies, it might go for hibernation during winters but it shifts to agility the moment spring returns.

The project team at TCS Bangalore also has a special place in my heart. All the inhibitions I had about the real life work situations,were shrugged off, thanks to the amazing people I met there. Each of them inspired me in their own way. I found my mentors, whom I can always look up to & friends I can always reach out to.

All this again brings me back to friendship.In Rabindranath Tagore's song "Purano sei diner  kotha" , he summarizes friendship in the most beautiful way, stating the happiness of two long lost friends who meet & remember all those happy moments they spent together, stating that even if time separates them, they shall reunite again.

Working in TCS Bhubaneswar, makes 12 hours of my day perish before me realizing it. I admit that once one's work life starts , it is difficult to stay in touch with friends regularly.I know I am not good at meeting up or SMS's or regular phone calls either.

But believe me my dear friends no matter where you are, I carry a little part of each of you in my heart always.And we shall start from where we left, the next time we meet, coz that I believe is the beauty of our friendship :)

 Cheers to life !