Lost & Found

Lonely resilient times surround me always.Have always been pointed out as the "person with the thinking hat" because of my absent mindedness. The truth is like other human beings, I too wish to escape into a world where there are no worries and only happiness.Maybe my lovely childhood has made me like this, the love from my grandparents has made me believe that only good things can happen to us.

Yet the best part about happy memories or experiences is that you can always escape into them and feel that same thrill of happiness you felt.Whenever I feel lonely , very lonely I go back to a time when I am entering my home and my Thani welcomes me with her ever beautiful smile and I go and give her a warm hug. Some moments in life are truly worth living.

Unlike other children who used to have best friends from school or neighborhood, my best friends were my grand parents.We used to giggle our hearts out sleeping, me between Thani & Dadu.Our little secrets, smiles , laughter, jokes and the valuable pearls of wisdom which they bestowed on me are priceless.They taught me the meaning of love, unconditional love, the kind of love in which you dont keep a track of giving and taking. The love which is free from inhibitions and where you melt yourself to illuminate the life of others.

With Thani's demise and Dadu suffering from Parkinson's disease, my life without my best friends is very empty. My Thani's last words written in my diary months before her demise were "I hope and pray that you become the cherished loved one for every kind soul". In her last words also she prayed for me to  get love because maybe she was also aware of the huge void which was to be created after her going away.

This is the Valentine's week and unlike the fancy way in which it is projected with candles,baloons, cakes , pendants , cards and cupids, my idea of it was to wish my grandparents and to enjoy the giggled conversation that followed.

Five years have passed. My perspective towards life has become more realistic and pragmatic where bad things can also happen along with the good things. Where saying good things to people may make you sound like a flatterer  and where people can change their opinions and feelings for you any moment.

Yet in these times I am fortunate to get love from the unlikeliest of the places.Whether its the old couple at the tea stall or any kind soul, I have received love for which I shall be eternally grateful.People and situations have made me believe that miracles do exist.  

And no matter what I do I know a bright star in the sky is always guiding me towards being good and doing good. That bright star is my guardian angel , my Thani.