The Summer of 2012

A couple of months back when i was on the brink of completing my Bachelor's in Computer Science & Engineering..i realized the meaning of smiling and working in the face of adversity. I have undergone everything that can possibly go wrong for an undergraduate student..right from a system crash just before report submission..to last minute faults in the project code..to attendance troubles..to the drought of notes and books just before the final semesters..to sleepless nights..to constant powercuts..to battery back up for 5 mins only..to inability in the intake of extra greasy hostel food..to sleeping on the hostel roof with the company of melodious mosquitoes..to being broke(almost :P ) ..to crying in solitude..and all of this in the blistering heat of the summer of 2012.

Summer of '69 were the best days of Bryan Adam's life and Summer of 2012 was memorable for me..though for all different reasons. When i shifted to my new hostel in the beginning of Final Year..i was very excited to get the room on the top floor with two of my besties. Awesome well ventilated and well lit room with balcony and terrace just a step away. A perfect setting for my poetic mind. Initially i would just sit and enjoy the awesome view i got. My Apple Ipod acted as the best companion during my quests of soul searching and finding hidden meanings of the simplicities of life.

Days passed and Summer came..days became hotter and more humid and nights were frequented with power cuts.Being on the top floor our room soon got transformed into a blast furnace. My college timings were from 8 am to 1 pm. And after reaching from college..it was like having lunch and afternoon siesta in a burning kiln. Deadlines for Final Year Project, the most important endeavor of an Undergraduate Engineering Student's life were fast approaching. Me & My Friend Sangita were attending classes on Android Application Development during that time and our class timings were in mid afternoons when getting an auto rickshaw is as difficult as finding an oasis in a burning desert.

The heat took away our appetite..and all that i wanted after a long day was some light dinner and a peaceful sleep both of which was impossible as hostel food can never be light and subtle and sleeping at night in powercuts is as good as starting a war with the mosquitoes. 

My project was based on Radio Frequency Identification and it took us quite a long time to find a proper hardware for the same. There were times when on holidays me and my team mates went to college and slogged over the coding, design etc of the project the whole day..only to find that our hardware was incompatible. 

One fine day after resolving major issues of our project and with final semesters approaching soon..day and night slogging took a toll on me. I was down mentally. In order to refresh myself i started watching a movie in mid afternoon..with my project report work side by side. And bam..the current goes..and my laptop with 5 mins battery back up shuts down in no time..With a damn! in my head..after the current comes..i restart my lappy only to find that it has crashed and on the top of it i realise that i havent created a backup for the project report.

My lappy is formatted the same day..and minutes before completion of formatting..current goes again..stormy weather..current will be gone for few hours and my lappy is still in the crashed state and my report is yet to start all over again.Was it a nightmare?? 

No it was not and i accepted it. My laptop was finally ok after hours of hard work.My Report was finished within 2 days. 90 pages report. I learnt that some things work out just in time no matter how horrendous it might be to achieve it.

That night after the usual powercut I slept on the hostel terrace with my besties on my side..i took a break..we chatted the whole night..we giggled..shared our secrets..caught up on all that we had lost..with three mosquito coils around us guarding us..and in the cool breeze of the midnight we fell asleep..only to wake up early morning to the songs of a frantic cuckoo who was desperate to wake us up. Unlike the alarm we can't put a snooze on a real cuckoo..In short we can't change certain bits of life yet we can definitely wake up smiling to a new day :)

The Highway love stories :)

Coming back to my hostel from home with my father on an early winter evening had many pleasant surprises for me on the cuttack-bhubaneswar highway. Sitting behind my father who was intently driving the Honda Activa amidst speeding trucks and buses, I was gazing here and there when some priceless moments caught my attention. The Two wheelers racing on the highway around us carried people and emotions which were inexplicable.

While the young twosomes were racing away... with speed of the bike depending on how tight the hug the driver got from his sweetheart behind him.There one could see all the gigglings, whispers of sweet nothings and sweet smiles intricately associated with the driving. These couples were mostly newly married or with one kid, the wife clinging the husband tight & the husband loving every bit of it.

Then there were the middle aged couples with one or two grown up kids, looking at them you feel, the love is same but its way of expression has changed with time. There are puckered eyebrow conversations, worried faces, yet there is love there somewhere which got mingled with domestic responsibilities with time.

  The vehicles ranged from the humble Luna to the racy Pulsar, yet what remained same was the happiness and satisfaction one gets by seeing so many diferent forms of love. Somewhere deep down, I had a silent prayer in my heart.

I prayed that may these lovely twosomes be happy and intimate always..not just in the journey on the highway but in a bigger journey..the journey of a lifetime of togetherness :)

Cheers to the amazing feeling called "love" :)

Why do i have to be fair to be lovely??

One of the few things that you are bound to see when u watch an Indian Television channel is the ubiquitous "Fair And Lovely" advertisement. The model, location or situation of the advertisement changes with time but what doesn't change is the underlying theme..That is "First U are dark or wheatish skinned(which is the normal Indian skin tone)..you suffer from self pity due to your present skin color..you never win any competition..which may range from singing to dancing to modelling and one day your friend suggests you to try the "Revolutionary Fair & Lovely" and with its unique ingredients you become "White and Fair as milk". You wear a Pink dress and go out and then the miracle happens..you win every competition..people notice you..the boy you had a crush on finally falls for you..your life changes..all because of "Fair & Lovely". 

Utter bull shit!!! is what my head screams when i see the advertisement. It is in stark contrast to what we term as lovely..to fulfill the commercial goals..these companies are reflecting a very wrong ideology which is grasping the Indian mentality.. "Obsession for being fair". I stand up and ask what is abnormal with a girl having a skin tone which she is supposed to have due to her demography. Why do we project girls with the normal Indian skin tone as "undesirable and looked down upon". It is really unfortunate that living in this modern era we have such a downtrodden thinking where being fair gives you everything you ever wanted..right from winning a competition to getting your prince charming".

It is time when we identify the importance of nurturing one's talent and building a strong personality irrespective of any skin tone and not get swayed away by these money sucking companies who have the sole aim to degrade the Indian mentality's take further about their natural skin tone and make a fortune out of it. 

We need to understand the being "fair" and being "lovely" are two entirely different things. BEING FAIR is something you have no control on..it depends on your genes and demography. But BEING LOVELY is certainly something you can work on by being self confident and building a personality which makes you unique.A personality depends on a range of things which you need to learn and instill in a gradual manner to build a unique image that will encourage you to move ahead in life and make you fall in love with a person who loves you inside out.

So next time you see a "Fair & Lovely" Ad , treat it like just an instance of hypocrisy because there is certainly more to you than your skin tone and the world is waiting for you to unleash your talents and virtues which is certainly much more than a white skin with a pink dress.

Of small towns and BIG Hearts :)

I live in Cuttack..and before you ask " Where's that?? " Its a "small town" in Odisha , India. And given the "Gangs of Waaseypur" Phenomenon..the small towns in India have acquired a typical image in the eyes of the "elite and sophisticated metropolitans" . A typical small town would be pictured as a dusty landscape having narrow lanes, unclean drains, hordes of people and cattle moving here and there, scooters carrying uncle, aunty and their chunu-munu , paan eating local goons ornamented with sickles, knives and revolvers ready for war anytime and every time.

And i have noticed,  the moment you introduce yourself  dwelling from a city that  can be categorized as "small town".. you create an impression that  you can never speak English without that typical "small town accent", you know nothing about the subtleties of modern  day living, all you do is watch saas- bahu soaps and are bland and unaware of those progressive advances in the world. A typical small town girl is figured as someone who wears salwar kameez throughout her childhood and teenage, is decked with gold earrings, goes to temple every tuesday, has a moti choti of oiled up hair, dreams of getting married right after school, only to become the ideal bahu with colorful bangles, sarees, sindoor.

I wonder what is the criteria that makes a city or town "small". If it is on the basis of area..then why this sheer branding of it and its people as backward and unsophisticated. 

Here's a few instances which i would love to share about my Cuttack, it is a city with a Heart, It is a city where people of various languages, cultures, castes and religions come together and celebrate festivals that encompass every boundary of inhibition one can think of, where you can see a wealthy businessman and a modest labourer gorge on dahibara- aludum from the same vendor on the street, where you'll have people stop and care if you met with an accident, where you can still catch a glimpse of a grandfather and grandchild on the same cycle or luna, where shopkeepers treat you more than just a mere customer and care about your needs, where a modest rickshaw puller can teach you a lesson or two about life,where people would support you and create a furore if some jobless romeo passed lewd comments on you, where the spirit of people to be happy and to celebrate harmony is of far more importance than their economic status.

I think these are few of the many characteristics of my Cuttack which may be small in size, may not have multiplexes and malls, may not be suave and sleek but it certainly has a BIG HEART :) So all the people reading this..please do not stereotype cities and its people as "small" on the basis of your imaginative assumptions. Every city with its people has a heart and a unique spirit which should be saluted and revered :) Only then can we broaden our own horizons rather than casting others as shallow and backward. 

The Faces Of FACEBOOK

About a decade ago, imagine a lonely Sunday evening dripped in melancholy, where you would be craving for the company of your dear ones who are all miles away from you , wondering how your family must have celebrated diwali this year, wanting to see them & thinking how your little sister must be looking in that cute traditional attire, dying to share your new look & hairstyle with your closest group of friends & wanting their feedback & above all sharing  “What’s On Your Mind?!” with the world.

And then one day a person called Mark Zuckerburg comes up with something that literally puts these lonely Sundays to an end. Enter FACEBOOK. All you have to do is to create an account ( its free & always will be) . so why not?? & then as you sign up & login, your life changes!! This BOOK has FACES.. many of which are very well known to you. You become thrilled & start adding them to your friend list. Life seems happy now..finding old friends whom you never thought you would ever bump into again ..sometimes old crushes too..mixed feelings & then reluctantly sending them a  friend request..uploading your display picture( dp rather) and eagerly waiting for the likes & comments..& getting allured to the world where you can COMMENT-SHARE-LIKE almost anything.

Life is so much fun now a days. No qualms about staying alone as I am not lonely anymore.I multitask by chatting with my best friend who’s in London now & hey..that’s my cousin’s new photography stint at Andamans!! & oh!! That’s my little niece in her fancy dress competition. Good god!! That shy girl of our class just went from being “single” to “in a relationship” & finally my brother uploaded the family diwali celebrations album & yes 63 likes on my dp( display picture)..inexplicable feeling!!! I am simultaneously writing a note on my grandparents in which I’ll tag my close friends & look what’s on my notification. my father wants to be friends on facebook!! Biggest shocker!! & after I add him I see my mother’s name on “people you may know”!! Of course I know her!now with an above 500 friend list..i am sure I’ll never feel lonely again.

But In the midst of FACEBOOKING I realize that I have not FACED MY BOOKS since long. My life is so involved in the comment-share-like trilogy that no matter what I do now, it’s an inherent want to seek attention & to be liked , to post & share just to see how people react to it & maybe facebook is so popular because it tickles a person’s curiosity in other  person’s life.

 I feel grateful to FACEBOOK for making me feel so connected to everyone, yet at the same time I do not  want to be so involved in it that when I FACE LIFE, my distinction of real & virtual gets blurred & I become lost in between.

The world beyond we and our vanity

During my lonely resilient time, it suddenly occurred to me how satirical are the lives led by us. As we make transitions from the love to the lust for success and realize the thrills of self ego  in the things that we do, we tend to become so narcissist and self indulgent that these bouts of self love take over us completely and there comes a  time when we just see ourself , our mind becomes narrow , our thoughts shallow.And the irony of this self indulgence is that we become completely blind to the world from which we can learn so much more. Our obsession for our external appearance , achievements and sheer jealousy at anyone who did better than us makes us lose the biggest gifts of our life..peace of mind,happiness and learning.

We stop learning because we think that we are having omnipotence  and omniscience.Our life is filled with the materialistic pursuits but far away from the pursuit of happiness.The self arrogance, the lust for the bubble reputation, the sudden disgust at someone's success, the urge to achieve money without ethics, fame without hard work  and dedication and lust without love will push us into an abyss that has unfathomable misery..misery of the soul..torment of mind..where getting a peaceful sleep is the most difficult thing ever..Is this a successful life?? It may be successful with respect to material pursuit but it is definitely not the life that is worthwhile..a life that has been lived up for others..a life that is devoid of all those beautiful moments of joy, happiness, sharing and peace which come to us without any cash, debit or credit cards.

In my encounter of various moving experiences , I have realized that is indeed the poor or economically backward sections of society who can teach us the true lessons of life.Whether it be a poor mother who sells her body to disgusting beasts every night only to give her crying children some food in their empty stomachs or the emaciated father who works very hard, suffering indignities for the hungry and weakened yet hopeful souls who wait for him to return home.

Our world is filled with ironies which can transform our lives and inspire us to become better souls.All we need to do is to open our blind fold of vanity, reach out and help others, respect people irrespective of their jobs..when u address a rickshaw wallah as "dada" with a smile..may take little effort from you but will mean lots of happiness for him..For once stop thinking just about your branded clothes, shoes, projects, make up and move beyond YOU for while as life has a much bigger meaning to it. Get A Life !!!  that is much beyond You and that is waiting to teach you so many incredible things :)

I Have Not Given Up Yet..

In these tides of times
even when i lose everything that is mine
even when the waves of maladies lash me
and pull me towards a bottomless sea..

There is a part of me
that will never be dead
A part of me
that will repeat what my heart says
"I will not give up yet! "

Because no matter how bad things go
drenching me in disappointments and sorrow

There is a part of me
that knows how to smile
A part of me
that walks inspite of enduring wounds over miles
As i repeat what my heart says
" I will not give up yet!"

Even when the flames of agony burn me down
and turn me into ashes

There is a part of me
that still wants to reach the zenith
A part of me
that rises like a phoenix

Because in the tides of time
i know i will hold back something that is mine

It is those words that my heart said
"I have not lost the battle as i haven't given up yet!"