Sunday, May 26, 2013

Of rains & view from a window pane

Rains are nature's way of expressing romance I feel.It is when the sky & earth are overwhelmed with their feelings for each other that they touch each other through rains.It is just like a warm embrace which we give our loved ones when we fall short of words to express our love for them,the sky and earth,never getting to meet, embrace each other through rains.

My earliest memories of rains are during my summer vacations in childhood when me and my brother used to have race of paper boats through the little stream of water along the verandah of our family home in Khurda. My brother had a habit of running out to the open whenever there was lightning instead of staying inside home as he thought lightnings were God's way of taking our photos like the camera flash :P Vivid memories of him running out of the room to smile at God's flash while his parents saying Aye Aye Come back ! :D The other happy memories are of the delight I used to get while watching the world from the window pane of our car when it used to rain. I used to be so happy that I wrote a poem titled it also way back then.

Then there was the period of adolescence.Rains gained a new dimension apart from paper boats & giggles.
There was a tiny element of something called Romance entering my imagination. Movies, songs, poems & books like Ruskin Bond's novels had created an element of romance with the rains which I shyly identified with.This was also the phase of school hoildays declared just because of incessant rains.Yet along with the happiness of "Rainy days holidays" I dont know why I longed to enjoy the rains.

The drizzles & downpours during school have left behind so many memories. The table by the window in the library which allowed me and my friend  to sit & have our chit chat while  reading books & enjoying the rain. The delicious taste of the  "Dahibara Aludum" prepared by Nidhi bhai,who used to sell it on a cycle just beside the school boundary wall.Having it just after the rains would add an extra element of taste to it. The "Sawan Barse Tarse Dil" song from Dahek which my friend used to sing as we roamed through the corridors of our school.The cycle races between friends along with the thrill of the slippery rain soaked roads. And finally the mysterious element of Romance soaked in me while listening to my favorite songs on the walkman watching the rain through the window of my room. It is the rains which helped me sow the elements of love in my adolescent heart.

Adulthood came & brought a lot of realities & complexities with it too. Some of which we accept, some of which we know & some of which we pretend not to know or accept.The rains were still there but the way I saw them had changed in a way. It no longer was just about wonder  & love. It was the feeling of letting out everything I had inside me before those who mattered to me.I got this habit of crying shrouded by loneliness whenever I was emotionally upset by anything. Tears had become my emotional outlet.They epitomized rain for me sometimes.

A few days back when I was returning from office, it was raining.I was without an umbrella. The tiny cold droplets of rain touched me.I looked up, amidst the hustle bustle of Bangalore traffic & people, I felt as if  a dear old friend had just greeted me.I smiled & rushed towards the bus stop.The bus stop had a gulmohar tree under which we waited for the bus.The amber street light above the tree made the droplets on the gulmohar leaves look like tiny decorative lights.It was a delightful sight as if my old friend had decorated the tree for me. After so many years I experienced the similar feeling of delight like I had in childhood.I smiled & wondered how these years had passed by.

As I boarded the volvo bus, I was happy to see the window seat vacant.Its was as if my old friend was lovingly asking me to sit there.I sat & looked outside the window, people were running around, some giggling,some so frustrated.The drops were settling on the glass window & slowly meandering downwards. I had put my headphones on & the song was "Sawan Barse Tarse Dil". I could not help but smile at the perfect moment. 

There were couples on bikes adding the element of Romance too, holding each other, not bothered about getting wet as they had each other. Rain soaked roads, trees, people & the view by the window which delighted me so many years back.All this  was there for me, a perfect way in which the rains brought together all that I had missed in so many years. 

The next morning I woke up , the rains had stopped but I was still lost in the happy memories the rains had drenched me in.Life is beautiful. Cheers to life !







Sunday, May 19, 2013

The day I ran my first marathon

Life is the process of continuous self discovery.This line has been created by me through years of influence by movies,books & moreover life itself.We never know what we can, until we just go ahead & do it. And the feeling after it is just beyond words.

You can picturize me as a thinker.I love slow pace. Analyzing,pondering,wondering,reflection,contemplation etc are as natural to me as breathing.I love to devour classic movies, interviews of people who have had it all & stories of people who have lost it all too.Writing,painting,music,poems,reading are like the wheels of my soul which keep me going. Enter sports & I am distraught.

My early school memories of sports days reminds me of running races in which I would finish last.My classmates,teachers cheering me to reach the finishing line & I panting my way through. It was not that I was frail hence lacked energy, I simply didnt like sports. Without sounding boastful, I want to say that like all other human beings, the aspect of my life in which I failed disinterested me. So slowly & steadily my relationship with sports of all kinds faded & got lost in oblivion.

One of the first things I heard about TCS after joining as a trainee in Trivandrum was "Fit For Life", a novel initiative by our CEO Mr Natarajan Chandrasekharan or Chandra as TCSers fondly address him.It was a simple concept, as you join the software industry, instead of turning into a sloth bear, run & be fit and for every kilometer you run, TCS pays some amount for charity.So it was aimed to ignite two things, first an urge of physical fitness through running & second an approach to generate the amount for goodwill that TCS would donate for charity.

Though the concept made me happy, my aversion for sports didnt decrease. So throughout the training I just avoided going for "Fit For Life " sessions citing my overburden of project work, weakness, health issues & blah blah. Yet deep inside I had the haunting sense of failure that I would never be good in something as simple as running.

Enter TCS Bangalore.My project team insisted that as freshers we register for the World 10K Marathon at TCS Bangalore on 19 May to get a feel of Fit For Life.Reluctantly I registered for the 5 km Majja run, sub consciously thinking that I would make some excuse & not turn up for it.

And the day arrived & to my own surprise I decided to run the marathon, putting on the TCS jersey,cap ,wristband & runner Id, me & my friend boarded the bus at 7:00AM.The volvo bus was filled with fellow TCSers all with the same look.I felt a profound sense of unity in us, smiling at each other, strangers yet bound together for a purpose.

The Kanteeveera stadium was bustling with energy.After getting ourselves stamped with "TCS 10K Marathon" we entered the gallery.The entire TCS crowd was waving TCS flags, shouting & cheering.All were smiling to each other.It was a proud moment.

Then to all our surprise, we saw our CEO Chandra joining us in person in the gallery.The entire crowd burst in joy.We all moved to greet him as he was shaking hands with TCSers yet sadly I couldnt reach him Then we had the announcement that Majja run was about to start & we were to go to the stadium race course.

The feature of this year's marathon was that it was headed by the ladies of TCS. Yes & I was a part of it.Thrilled , i held the TCS Flag as all of us started the run.Just as we were about to leave the stadium, we saw a familiar smiling figure across the railing cheering us,yes it was Chandra. I ran towards the railing & smiled at him.He smiled and extended his hand for greeting.That was a miraculous moment of my life.Greeting the CEO of TCS.He smiled & told us to keep running.

That was a moment of awakening.I felt that it was planned by the universe to discover a side of mine I had never met before,that of a runner.All charged up , me and my friend started running, we ran , we walked , we saw people running for causes ranging from public safety to child labor to street animals. We ran & walked alternatively , halting in between near the dance stages watching people dance in exhilaration.

The biggest observation I had of a marathon was the spirit of the people who participated.A marathon is analogous to life I believe, people run it in different paces, some slow some fast, yet they are happy that they are experiencing it.There is no competition, no hurry, a group of strangers heading to a common destination bound by smiles & a common purpose.

So the moment I completed the marathon.I had a profound sense of fulfillment.It was not just because I had completed the marathon, it was because I had completed a part of me that was incomplete for so many years.

To my readers, Our lives are an event of infinite possibilities, all we need to do is transform them into our realities :) Cheers to life !