Of love & Facebook

I was introduced to the concept of real & virtual when I was Std 7 , Introduction to Optics,mirrors with real images & virtual images, since then I was puzzled with the concept of virtual & real & often wondered what distinguishes them. Then in my late teens when I entered the arena of social networking through the long forgotten Orkut, I slowly realized I had a virtual life apart from the real life in which I had my family, friends & studies. Infact everyone who was on Orkut had a virtual life, with  fancy display pics, fancier self descriptions & there was another option of Relationship status which could be Single/Committed/Married or blank for people like me.

Then came the God of social networks, Facebook. Like my friends, I too joined FB, doing some research initially to know the difference between Home & My Profile :P As time passed by, people fell in love & happily declared it by going from "Single" to "In A Relationship" on FB. With a sense of joy, the friends & well wishers of the person liked it & poured their best wishes & <3 through comments. Yet the sad part was when the person went from "In A Relationship" to "Single", there were :( & what happened??? in the comments, #trulyhearbreaking for the person as well as the world.

Then there was the notion of  FDA (Facebook Display of Affection ) which was synonymous to PDA ( Public Display of Affection ) in real world.The golden rule of FDA states that if you are in love, then you must flaunt it #BIGTIME on FB. The love could range from photographs to :* to songs to ohhh sweetu, i love u baby!! on the beloved's wall with the entire world liking it & filling in comments like Awww!! , So cute, God bless you guys #HowSweet :)

Then there were the underdogs, the kind of people who kept a low profile, who were in love but  were uncomfortable with FDA.They had blank Relationship status & basically did not indulge in FDA.They were sneered at, by the crusaders of FDA. Comments like "Your love is true only if you keep posting cute things on your beloved's wall" & "If you guys are not keeping your relationship status as "In a Relationship", then you are not sure about the Relationship in the first place " were hurled on to the underdogs & they were mocked at.#TrueLoveIsProportionalToFDA.

The there were transitions like "In A Relationship" to "Its Complicated", "Single" To "In An Open Relationship" , "Its Complicated" to "Single". Wide mouthed, the world gaped as the love between two people rose & sank like the sine wave in the tides of heated arguments on FB walls to exhuberant displays of passion with cuddled pics & well..lets not go there :P. #TidesOfLove

Then came the really nice feature by which we could not only know the Relationship status but also the profile of the person with whom one was Married/Engaged/In a Relationship with.#SomeSeriousStalking.

I recently read in a book that " The Greatest compliment one can give oneself is to declare 'I am open book'". The same can be applied to FB with a slight modification that goes " The Greatest compliment one can give oneself on FB is to declare 'My relationship with XYZ is an open book' " . 

Years after Std 7 , I am still confused about what is real & what is virtual. To express one's love for someone can be the greatest gift , one can get.Yet categorizing love into a specific group, letting the world  know what you sweetly whisper in your beloved's ears, constantly being in the apprehension of what exactly category is one's relationship in & then letting the whole world comment & like it is something which is merging the real & virtual.

The problem of merging real & virtual is that it is a one way process.Once it is merged, distinguishing the real & virtual will be impossible & one will be lost somewhere in middle.#Lost&Clueless.

The journey of a 90's kid

Being a 90's kid has a great charm in itself. We grew up watching Shaktimaan , Alif Laila , Bournvita Quiz contest, Mahabharat, Surabhi , Malgudi days , Om Namah Shivay , Jai hanuman, drank Complan wanting to be a Complan boy/girl, had a fairly simple gaming experience with Super Mario, Battle City , Alladin etc. The cartoons that we watched were also innocent like our minds, Duck tales, Silly Symphony, Talespin, Captain Planet,Alladin etc. 

We spoke to our parents in our respective mother tongues as tiny tots and not in English.We didnt know what pizza & burger meant until we reached teenage. We had fairly simple clothes for us in the markets ranging from frocks & skirts for girls & pant - shirt for guys & also jumpsuits for the elite ones :P Most of us didnt nag our parents to wear only this dress with this hair band or shoe coz most of us I believe had only school shoes to wear outside. PS Not because we could not afford other shoes mostly because fancy shoes of our sizes was not easily found in the market :P

The music of that era is also eternally beautiful. I remember my father's happy face when we had bought our first tape recorder. It was giant, almost covered our entire rack in the living room.My mom made a beautiful cover for it in white wool.The 1942 ,a love story's tracks, Akele hum akele tum, Baazigar, Darr, Nadeem Shravan's music had found a inseparable place in a stair case like cassette holder beside the tape recorder.

That was also the time of Real Greeting cards. Real as in paper :P. My mom has a fond collection of a huge bunch of cards & letters which we got from our near & dear ones on new year, birthdays , anniversary or simply just like that. We used to smile & giggle when we used to go through them.

I had the first taste of burger & pizza in Hyderabad during 1997.Rs 10 for a chicken burger from Citizen Bakery near our Apartment where my mom would take me if I did well in school tests or just if she wanted to see me happy. We used to have pizza very rarely on occasions like my parent's anniversary & it was almost luxury :P.  The fond memories of me & my parents roaming on bike through the streets of Hyderabad are so special especially after my father would return home from office tours & we would start. 

I also saw the first computer during that time when my I visited father's colleague's home. The desk top, I was so thrilled to see it. I remember having played Pac man & Minesweeper in it. There was a type writer in our home & we had a TV too, in my mind I had the picture of the computer as a combo of TV & typewriter with a small mouse :P.I used to read happily about ENIAC, EDVAC, Sinclar, Pascal in Computer text book  back then :)

That was also the era of pagers, mobile phones & digital diaries. I remember my father's senior in office carrying a pager & mobile phone when he had visited our place for dinner. The mobile phone was of the size of a small papaya i believe.As a kid I was so thrilled to see it that I demanded my parents to get both of them for me. Kiddish obstinacy. I remember my grandparents gifting me a toy pager & toy mobile phone that said "Trrnn Trnn May I help you" :P when I pressed a particular button.So happy I was that I carried it everywhere with me hoping to show everyone that I too owned a mobile phone.

The first laptop I saw was in 1998 when we visited an acquaintance's home. It was the size of a suit case.The display was a bit hazy i think.Spellbound was all I was when I saw it. I wanted to touch & play around with it but stopped coz I saw the angry eyes of my father embarrassed due to my behavior before them inspite of him stopping me.

When we shifted to Odisha, every evening we had relatives visiting us. Its because there was no addiction of serials , no complexities like today's work life, no social networking sites & no multiplexes or malls, so the best way people thought of spending their leisure time was through visiting their kith & kins.

Then time passed. We got our first computer but my mom didnt weave a wool cover for it this time.My father got a mobile phone but his calls from office on it substantially increased too.Our first laptop came but it was mostly used by my father for MS Office.Our relatives visiting us also decreased as the elder ones had become older & hence reluctant to visit & the younger ones were too busy with their work.

There were also some puckered eye brows when we visited people during the time of their favorite daily soaps.Burger & pizza had become a staple diet. The social networking sites had arrived & writing a Happy Birthday on someone's wall was much more simpler than sending greeting cards & letters.

The things which had caught my  delight in the 90's were all there in my home in 2000's yet I think somehow the element of wonder had faded away with time. We have latest apps from our Smartphones that can help us call people for free yet its so strange that the number of people we want to call & talk for hours are reducing day by day.

I am an adult now, a happy one coz technology has made my life so easy & smooth. Yet the old world charm of the 90's keeps luring me to go for a time travel :P Hope the 90's kid in all of us stay alive & be the same always.

Of Life & Death : A Tribute to Rituparno Ghosh

I have always been fond of rains.Especially rainy nights, I feel they have so much to say. My perfect setting would be a cozy bed, warm blanket, a good movie or book on a rainy night #Paradise on earth.

I have never been a movie buff.I love movies but the kind which touch the subtleties of life, the intricate emotions,which convey so many hidden meanings which take me days & even months or years to comprehend.Sometimes I believe I was wrongly born in this generation,where my friends are so enthusiastic about IPL & Iron man.Where they wish to see movies that give them a thrill, a high, & sadly I belong no where there.

My idea of life is taking time to smell the flowers rather than running so fast that we end up stamping all the wild violet flowers that quietly smiling while we were on our way.Slow music gives me peace, books like the Monk who sold his Ferrari give me a purpose, shows like Rendezvous with Simi Garewal intrigue me as I get a glimpse into the life & times of the bold , beautiful & powerful yet movies didnt have a profound effect on me even though the 11 Movies in my laptop are my all time favorites and I carry something with me from each of them.

Then suddenly around 3 weeks back while I browsing through youtube, I stumbled upon the movie Nouka Dubi by Rituparno Ghosh.The movie left me spell bound.The lyrical way in which he portrays the complex interconnections of four lives woven with love,separation,pain,angst & sacrifice set in the backdrop of beautiful Rabindra Sangeet & Bengali culture made me crave for his movies.

Rabindra Sangeet & classic Bengali movies have a special corner in my heart due to my Thani who was a gifted singer & an avid reader of Bengali literature & a movie enthusiast.Memories of me, dadu & Thani cozying up together for the classic Bengali movie every friday night at DD Bangla are still fresh in my mind.The last movie we saw together was Pather Panchali by Satyajit Ray, the story of which I had heard from her when I was a 5 year old.

My reconnection with my happy childhood memories of Bangla movies during Nouka dubi led me to search for Rituparno's movies one after another.

In Utsab, he portrayed a dysfunctional family set in the backdrop of Durga Pujo where at the end everybody realizes that happy families need not be perfect always. 

In Titli, he beautifully brought out the emotions of a mother-daughter where they fall in love with the same person, getting through tinges of jealousy & finally being there for each other when they go through the pain of loving & losing.

In Bariwali, he displayed the profound sense of loneliness when we meet people for a transient phase & that pain which engulfs us when they leave us , makes us lonelier & miserable than ever. I guess it somehow showcased his own loneliness where after his parents died one after other, his brother left him, he struggled with his sexuality & felt lonelier than ever.

In Shubho Mahurat, he emphasized that revenge is not a means of achieving peace & at last we become the consumers of the poison which we try to inflict in others.

In Memories of March he himself personified melancholy, teaching a lesson that the essence of love is accepting people just the way they are without being judgmental.

In Abhoman he expressed love to be eternal,not bound by age,it can happen to anyone anytime & that is what makes love beautiful.

Chokher Bali &  Antarmahal were visual delights,the beauty in which he portrayed Rabindranath's works, resurrecting them in the most beautiful way that they could be brought back to life.

And as I kept watching his movies, I fell more in love with the profound lessons he had in them for me.He has made me smile,brought tears & above all given me the warmth like a loved one.

The day I got the news of his demise, I was in office and it was raining.I felt pained,sad , very sad as I was waiting for many more valuable insights of life which he could have given me.It was a similar moment when I had seen Thani in that cold & quiet condition.The only question that haunted my mind then was "How could this happen when we had so much left to share & laugh about?"

That moment the same question  crossed my mind again after a period of 5 years.This time it was Ritu da, the soul who was bound to me by the threads of life & learning. May your soul reach those beautiful places where you took me & many others through your thought provoking & eternally wonderful movies ! You will be missed dearly !